Globo Gyms

According to the Urban Dictionary, a Globo Gym is defined as this:
“A typical big-box fitness franchise, where people more often than not don’t get in shape worth a damn”.

An example conversation might look like this:
“Do you do CrossFit man?” “Naw, I’m stuck at a Globo Gym with the rest of the pansies”.

It’s one of those gyms that charge a $10-30/month fee, and usually have a ton of cardio machines and a small machine focused weightlifting area.  It caters to highly budget-minded people who are taking their very first, tiny, steps in showing the world that they care about their fitness and health.

I’ll pick on Planet Fitness in particular since they are right down the street from me and they’re the easiest to pick on really.  They give their members free pizza, bagels, and tootsie rolls! I suppose this is to guarantee that any weight that was previously shed, is now firmly back in place to assure gym membership renewal.planet fitness pizza

An excerpt from an article written regarding Planet Fitness reveals this: “Despite the chain’s promise of “no judgments,” the staff will most certainly judge your ass if they decide you’re working out with any level of real effort. Why? Because it makes the other members feel bad about themselves.

In fact, if you exercise with such intensity that your exhalations become audible, a “LUNK ALARM” goes off. According to Planet Fitness, a “lunk” is someone who “grunts, drops weights, or judges.” Apparently, it’s also someone who tries to perform “unapproved lifts” at the gym, including deadlifts. (I’m not kidding.)” (FITBOMB).

The real judgements are obviously coming from those that are too insecure to mind their own business.  If you are intimidated by someone that’s working out hard, or looks fit, it’s  your issue, not theirs.  Let them get their fitness on and aspire to do similar.PF-2

The real reason that these gyms continue to thrive is because so many people get a membership due to their cheap rates. However, if everyone in the area actually attended the gym that they had a membership to, there would not be enough room to support everyone.  They actually count on people not coming so they can continue to charge more memberships. One Planet Fitness in Manhatten boasts 6,000+ members, with space for 300 at one time maximum.  Thank goodness nobody goes.  Globo gyms thrive on customers that pay but don’t cost the gym a dime.

Planet Fitness's bagel breakfast is the second Tuesday of every month.
Planet Fitness’s bagel breakfast is the second Tuesday of every month.

Think about it.  If you are tired and unmotivated one day (or always), you can justify not going to your globo gym because you’re only paying $10/month so it’s not a huge financial waste to skip it that day.  If you have a membership to a high quality, community based gym that has trainers or instructors that know what they’re doing for a higher fee, you are more likely to show up.  It keeps you coming back and seeing real results.

Quality fitness is not cheap, so don’t compare a globo gym to a gym that cares about its members lives and is legitimately qualified to instruct you.  Strength and conditioning gyms, CrossFit gyms, etc. are all much more expensive than typical globo gyms.  They teach proper technique, have a positive supportive environment, and get real results!  If you’ve never experienced such a program, you may not understand or believe it, but those that have seen the difference are forever grateful for the dramatic change in their lives.

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